Still knitting on the border; destashing

Today I'm on repeat #49 of 72, so progress is being made on the Shetland Tea Shawl. I timed myself last night, and it takes me approximately 18 minutes per repeat. That's just under 24 hours of knitting time, which is a heck of a lot!! Of course I didn't time how long the rest of it has taken me, but I started it around February 24th I think, and I've been working on it fairly intensely. My goal is to have it finished by the end of August so that I can enter it in the Tulsa State Fair. I think I'll make it. I had to change to a different dye lot, but so far I can't tell at all where it changes! I'm very relieved. I've been bitten by that before, but a very close inspection in daylight hasn't revealed any difference. I'm keeping my fingers crossed!

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I've decided to have a yarn purge. I have some yarns that I won from Bernat for a chemo cap contest they had in conjunction with Leisure Arts. I'm going to list some Haven yarn (an alplaca blend) and some Boa yarn on eBay, along with a few pattern booklets that I won't use. I've had a hard time parting with things but I finally had the epiphany that if I sell the yarn I'm probably not going to use, I can use that money and buy yarn I will use! (Duh!)

So, what yarns am I lusting after? I really want to get the yarn to do the Lightning Lace Jacket. Granted, I need 14 balls but they're $2.49 each (KnitPicks' Shine Sport) so that's not too bad. I just can't seem to stockpile enough "mad money" to plunk down that much at once. Yes, my yarn budget is pathetic. It kind of has to be, though, because even with great restraint I amass more than I can use.

I also need to get to a yarn shop and buy some black Manos yarn to finish that little felted purse. My sister has convinced me not to wimp out and buy something other than Manos for this--she says that the black Manos yarn has a neat effect when felted and that I'll regret it if I don't use it. I'm just having a really hard time with the thought of paying $13 a hank for yarn that I don't feel is particularly well spun. And I'm going to felt it. Why yes, I am feeling a little snarky at the moment.

Then there's this beautiful yarn that I'm lusting after from JoJoLand. When Katherine Misegades came to our guild, she had some socks made from some of the fingering-weight stuff and it was just amazing. I want! :-)

And of course there's the book sale going on at KnitPicks, 40% off all of their books. I am a book junky, but so far I've resisted placing an order.

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Last night (the weekly Panera Sit N' Stitch) was kind of fun, but the more I think about it the more frustrated I get. The great thing was that I got to meet two people face-to-face that I've corresponded with over the internet, so that was great!! They're both wonderful people, which I knew from communicating with them, and it was just awesome to be able to meet.

The frustrating part was that instead of being able to sit and chat with them (and work on my projects) I ended up teaching four people to knit.

Four.

At once.

Here's the background:
The woman who started this group runs a listing in the Tulsa Kids magazine that says something along the lines of 'free knitting lessons' with no contact information, just show up at Panera between 6:30 and 8:30 on Tuesday nights. That was great when she was still coming but I've seen her twice in the last year. So, when someone wants to learn how to knit (for free, of course) it ends up defaulting to me. Many times I don't mind, but this time around it was overwhelming and I didn't get to chat with Robin and Rebecca (and Lynn and Kim).

So this morning I emailed the magazine and asked them to change the ad so that it does NOT list "free lessons" because *I* didn't place the ad and I'm tired of teaching people spur-of-the-moment. If I can plan for it, that's one thing, but when I don't have appropriate yarn, needles, handouts, etc it's really really frustrating. Not to mention that the lady who offered the lessons sells yarn out of her home (or at least she did when she returned emails and phone calls, which she hasn't done since Christmas), so she had a motive/reason to teach people. Sometimes I'm in the mind set to teach, but my Panera night is my relaxation night, my night to not be Mommy, to chat with like-minded women.

I guess a lot of my frustration boils down to the realization that I feel like I'm being taken for granted on a lot of different fronts, and this was kind of the straw that broke the camel's back. Yes, I know that I didn't have to say that the woman who ran that ad doesn't come any more but I'd be willing to teach them, but I guess I'm just too nice and need to learn how to say "no" a lot more often. It's one of those lessons that I seem to need to re-learn with some frequency.

Sometimes I feel like standing up and yelling "when is it MY turn?" When is someone going to do something for me with no strings? When am I going to get invited? I just feel like I'm an afterthought for people. Are people nice to me because they want something from me, or do they really want to be my friend?

I know that things come back around, but I guess I'm just in a bit of a slump. My wonderful husband is truly my best friend and I'm so fortunate to have him.

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Thanks for reading. Hopefully I'll be more positive in the next post.